In the pursuit of Happiness

January 25, 2010

I promised to update you on my move, so here goes: I moved in with an English professor from my Lycee (High School) in Orange. She has two kids, a girl "L" who is 14 and a boy "T" who is 10. Her husband works at a different Lycee. It's been two weeks and things couldn't be better. Not once have i felt out of place or like i wasn't part of the family. In fact it's safe to say that I've fallen in love with them. We do a lot of things together, like watch movies/t.v. shows, play wii, and discuss various culture differences between the United States and France. Yesterday i discussed the death penalty, yes we tackle the heavy hitting subjects ;-) Since everything we do is in French I've really had to concentrate and hone my French skills. I cannot tell you how much of a difference this is making. I feel like I'm finally getting the French experience that i was looking for.

In terms of the program all is well except i have been having a sudden case of anxiety lately. It may be that there is something about working with teenagers and working in a high school that magically transports you back to adolescence. Lately, I've been thinking about my future and what's next for me and just like in high school I'm obsessing. Except this time it's not over what college I'm going to get into or who's going to ask me to Homecoming but what "real" job will i get, do i want to live in France for awhile, and when will i meet the one?.... It's all so overwhelming and unlike when i was in high school, i can't just say "i'm only 15" because apparently at 25 you're suppose to have all the answers.... or maybe that's just me stressing again.

Though i can't pinpoint the source, the fact is I've been thinking about that big distant (maybe not so distant) darkness called the future and I'm shaking in my boots. I have the option of renewing this program. It's not a guarantee it's a mere request to be "considered" for the assistant post next year. I've decided that I'm going to try this again and cross my fingers that they renew me. Because the truth is I've never been happier. I know that for every reason that i love living in France someone could give me 10 for why they hate it but that's just it, though inexplicable, it's a country that has truly moved me. and I'm not done with it yet.... Don't worry i haven't decided to make a career out of being an English assistant. I have actually recently made the decision to enroll in graduate school. There are still some kinks to work out. I need to narrow it down to which Master's program i would like, which universities i should apply to (and where.... maybe France ;-) ), cost, and of course that pesky GRE exam. The last of which i plan to study for while I'm here in France and take the exam in the summer when i return to the states. So 4 months later all i can say is France has changed my life in ways i could never imagine. I don't know what this means for the future but all i know is I'm very grateful for the experience. I'm eager to see what the next 4 months will bring.

ok that's enough reflecting, NOW on to relaxation. In two weeks i have another 2 weeks of vacation :-) I'll be going to Geneva, Budapest, Munich, and Zurich with some really good friends. I'm so excited! they'll be a blog post with pictures to follow.


Bisous,
HK